“Does he really love me or is it just an illusion? Will there come a time when he gets bored and wants to leave me? Will this relationship completely fall apart one day?” If you are in a romantic relationship and you are constantly asking yourself these questions, or if you notice that negative feelings are taking over when thinking about your relationship and its future, or if you are interpreting your partner’s actions and trying to understand how much he loves you, then you need to learn about what is called “relationship anxiety.”
Anxiety can cause some people to end their relationships
It’s normal to feel some anxiety if you’re in the early stages of a new romantic relationship. You may be wondering: Is this the right person? Is this relationship sustainable? This type of anxiety is normal and understandable, but in some cases, it can become excessive and prevent the relationship from growing and blossoming, and can even prevent the relationship from getting off the ground.
Relationship anxiety refers to persistent negative feelings a person has about their relationships, especially romantic ones. These negative feelings include doubt, fear, or expectation of the worst. People who suffer from relationship anxiety need constant reassurance, and their intense fear of losing their partner can cause them to ignore their own needs, and they may be controlled only by an intense desire to always please their partner.
Relationship anxiety may share some features with social anxiety disorder, and the fundamental commonality that both conditions have in common is excessive worry and intense fear of rejection and abandonment.
Thoughts, questions, and actions involved in relationship anxiety include:
- Thinking that your partner wouldn’t miss you as much if you weren’t there.
- Suspicion that your partner will not offer you help or support if something serious happens to you.
- Suspicion that your partner wants to be with you only because of what you do for him.
- Constant desire to be with your partner and cling to them in most situations.
- Over-analyzing simple words and actions for signs of trouble.
Sometimes people with this type of anxiety may end their relationship because they cannot tolerate this extreme level of anxiety, stress and fear.
Healthline notes that over time, anxiety in relationships can lead to:
- Emotional distress occurs.
- Lack of motivation to continue the relationship.
- Feeling tired or emotionally exhausted.
- Stomach upsets and other physical problems.
Why do some people suffer from relationship anxiety?
Attachment disorder is one of the leading causes of relationship anxiety, and this disorder mainly occurs when a child, during his early years, is unable to establish a healthy relationship with his caregivers due to neglect.
If parents or guardians always show love and affection, it will prevent him from feeling disturbed. But if they show love and care in some situations and then cruelty and abandonment in other situations, this can be the root cause of attachment disorder.
When a child fails to form a healthy relationship with their parents or doubts their feelings for them, they may later be unable to trust someone else’s feelings for them. People who have suffered from attachment disorder as adults are wary and always on the lookout for any signs that their partner might be bored or uninterested in them.
In addition to attachment disorder, negative past experiences are a cause of relationship anxiety. If a person has been rejected or has been in a relationship in which they questioned their self-worth and attractiveness, this can create an intense fear in them of facing it again. hurt.
Some people also complain of relationship anxiety if they suffer from low self-esteem, a condition that creates many crises, including the feeling that the person does not deserve love, which can make them completely doubt the validity of their partner’s feelings or that they deserve those feelings.
How to treat
According to social expert Dr. Alisha Powell, relationship anxiety can be treated by following these steps:
- Learn more about your anxiety: Here you need to understand exactly what you are suffering from. It is also important to identify the symptoms or problems that this disease causes in your relationship or in your relationships with your partner. For example, if you seek to please your partner in an exaggerated, almost satisfactory way, while completely neglecting yourself and your needs, do not call this “love”, because this behavior may come from anxiety and not from love. This awareness and self-awareness will greatly help you to effectively deal with the problem.
- Try to determine the reason: In the second step, you will need to identify why you feel anxious. Is it fear? Or low self-esteem? Or childhood issues? Identifying the cause will make you more aware of your problem, its size and dimensions, and will make you better aware of yourself.
- Talk to your partner: Next, you will need to be open and honest with your partner, as they will likely be able to help you calm your anxiety and fears and help you feel more secure. Here, you may need to practice active listening, giving your partner your full attention and focus when they are speaking. Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase what they have said to make sure you have understood. This will help you get to know your partner better and avoid making up your mind or jumping to conclusions.
- Reframe your negative thoughts: You also shouldn’t treat thoughts that arise from anxiety as data or facts, because they probably aren’t. Try to reframe your negative thoughts in a more positive way and focus on your strengths and positive qualities.